2015: Year of Discipline

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend and was convicted particularly about my spiritual life. She was talking about how she just created a spiritual health plan because she knows she needs one and is not particularly excited about pursuing God but wants to and if she doesn't create a plan for herself, she will probably continue down the negative path that she has been spiraling. I can relate. I am there and not just in my spiritual life but also in every other aspect: physical, emotional, relational, and mental. Today, I decided that I am done falling down that dark spiral. I want to get healthy in all of these areas. I am deeming 2015 the year of discipline. That may seem odd but I believe it's the path towards healthiness.

For instance, when you learn about what it takes to be physically healthy it means making sure you get good nutrients in your body, and excersing. That takes a lot of discipline. You have to be diligent about the choices you make of what food enters your body and how you choose to get up and move...or not. It takes making good choices and great discipline. This is not just in our physical lives but also in spiritual, relational, mental, and emotional. I want to make healthy choices and discipline myself in all areas of my life. It's easy to get caught up in the everyday busyness and laziness.  It's easy to say I am going to sit and watch one episode on Netflix and then end up watching a season and a half. I am just going to have a few potato chips but the next thing you know, the whole bag is gone. I am going to read my Bible everyday, then one day you forget and then the next five days go by and you're like "what's the use anymore?". I am going to have that conversation I need to have with a person that involves conflct, but you run away instead. I can relate because I have done all of these things more than once.

I want to stop this unhealthy cycle. I want to be able to watch only one episode on Netflx. I want to be able to choose to eat something healthy and then have only one cookie. I want to dive into hard conversations with the people around me. I want to seek Jesus in the midst of hard stuff. I want to be healthy damn it. It's going to be a hard road and a long journey but I think if I start with small acts of discipline, I can get there.

Here are some things I am going to commit myself to this year:
Spending 30 minutes a day reading my Bible, praying, and journaling.
Making smart decisions about what food I eat.
Excersing at least twice a week for at least 30 minutes.
Blogging at least once a week about my journey in discipline.
Spending time with a friend in need at least twice a month.
Making a real dinner regularly (and then eating left overs)
Small cleaning every day so it doesn't all pile up.
Engaging in difficult conversation with my husband on a regular basis to develop better communication skills and a healthier marriage.
Walking my dog more regularly (assuming we can go outside...I mean I do live in Indiana).
Being more realistic about the things I can and cannot do.
Realizing that there will be days I will fail from this list, forgive myself, and try again the next day.
Have more grace for myself and others.
Choose my emotions more clearly. (Allowing myself to be angry but then choosing to let it go for example).
Read more books.
Play my flute more often.
Spend time in silence at least once a week.

I know I have more things I want to commit to this year but I think this is a great list to start with. I obviously have to actually make a plan instead of just listing things I want to do because otherwise they will not get done and I will continue to be stuck. I know this because I have done this before. It's the classic new years resolution syndrome right? It's easy to say I am going to do this, this year and then after one week, you quit. Having a plan is a really great start. I will share with you now one plan that I do have to get me started.

My food habits.
I did this back in October and November, the slow carb diet. I am not really one for dieting. There are many reasons that it is not appealing but I believe it will help me to be more disciplined in the long run and help me get to a healthier place. I am reading this book called "The 4 hour Body". In it, the author has a lot of interesting facts about our bodies. I won't go into all the details (it's a really big book and I haven't even read it all yet...one of the books that I want to read all the way through this year) but in it he describes this diet called the slow carb diet. Bascially, you eat meat and veggies for six days a week and then on the seventh day, you can eat whatever you want. I did that for about six weeks in the fall and lost 15 pounds. I was set to continue but ended up getting my wisdom teeth out and never truly committed myself back to that point. So, starting on Sunday, I am going to again begin this diet. It's not really about losing weight, although I would really love to be able to fit back into this one red dress that I still have, but it is about getting healthy and disciplining my body. I am hoping that if I continue this diet and get to a heatlhy place, that I will be able to use some of the practices within the diet to temper out how I eat on a regular basis not having such strict rules but being smart in the choices I make. I think that if I start off with a stricter dicipline it will guide me to a healthier way of living in the future. It definintely isn't an easy diet because I can't even have fruit or cheese or rice but I think it's a sacrifice I can make toward the path of healthiness.

I know that there will be days that I am not so good at following my goals to becoming well roundedly healthy but I want to choose to have grace for myself and continue moving forward. I am excited to see where God takes me on this journey. I think it will definitely be an interesting year. I will keep you posted on how the start of my diet goes next week and other plans I have for the year of discipline. Maybe it will inspire you to join me along on the journey.

I leave you with some interesting thoughts:

Definitions of discipline

noun
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill
2. activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or imporves a skill: training
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control
6. a set or system of rules and regulations
7. Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine
8. an instrument of punishment, especially a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities
9. a branch of instruction or learning

verb
10. to train by instruction and exercise
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise

Scripture on discipline

Proverbs 20:30 Pysical discipline may well save them from death.

Psalm 94:12 Joyful are those you discipline, lord, those you teach with your instructions.

Psalm 119:67 I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word.

Proverbs 12:1 To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

Proverbs 13:1 A wise child accepts a parent's discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.

Proverbs 15:5 Only a fool despises a parent's discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.

Proverbs 23:23 Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgement.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

1 Corinthians 9:27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

Titus 1:8 Rather, he must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and diciplined life.

Hebrews 12:11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - It's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those are are trained in this way.

Quotes on Discipline

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment." Jim Rohn

"To enjoy good health, to bring true happinness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him." Buddha

"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. It may not be difficult to store up in the mind a vast quantity of facts within a comparatively short time, but the ability to form judgments requires the severe discipline of hard work and the tempering heat of experience and maturity." Calvin Coolidge

"Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful." Jacqueline Bisset

"Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace." Mike Ditka

"Confidence comes from discipline and training". Robert Kiyosaki

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." Jim Rohn

"It is a full time job being honest one moment at a time, remembering to love, to honor, to repect. It is a practice, a discipline, worthy of every moment." Jasmine Guy

"Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." Abraham Joshua Heschel

"Once you have commitment, you need the discipline and hard work to get you there." Haile Gebrselassie

"The discipline you learn and character you build from setting and achieving a goal can be more valuable than the achievement of the goal itself." Bo Bennett

"Most of us don't mind doing what we ought to do when it doesn't interfere with what we want to do, but it takes discipline and maturity to do what we ought to do whether we want to or not." Joseph B. Wirthlin

Birthday Puppy Update

I found the puppy I would love to get. Please pray they haven't sold already. And it would be a lot less money than I originally projected :-)

Here's a picture
http://dogs.oodle.com/view/2-male-shih-tzu-mixed-puppies/3640483222-indianapolis-in/

Help Jessica get a Puppy for her birthday

Knowing me, I want a puppy. I love dogs. They have been part of my life since I was born. In my lifetime and between two families, I have had 10 dogs. I miss having one around. It's an emotional thing. I love that they greet you when you come home, want to cuddle, and want to play. Dogs are just amazing! After many conversations, I have finally convinced my husband to get a puppy!!! :-)

This is my venture to getting a puppy for my birthday but I need your help. Getting a dog is a costly quest. I was just doing some research. A cage is about $40. Getting the dog fixed is about $100. Getting a leash and all the other amenities will probably be around $60. Then there is also the cost of the dog. We have to get a dog that doesn't shed because of Morris's allergies. So the puppy might cost up to $700. That being said, I probably need around $900 to make this happen. If you would like to contribute to my getting a puppy please let me know. It will be a great birthday present. Even if you only have $10 to contribute, every little bit counts.

THANK YOU!!!

Things I should have figured out much earlier in life

1. J Lo and Jennifer Lopez are the same person.
I think I was in college by the time I figured this out. The saddest part about this is that the people who pointed it out to me were my parents.

2. Pancakes are not pronounced pan-e-cakes.
As children, my sister and I pronounced pancakes incorrectly. I am not sure when we finally figured out that we were saying it incorrectly. I know that our parents thought it was cute but I imagine we were a little old to be saying it incorrectly by the time we changed our habits.

3. Songs have meanings.
I have always been a musician at heart. I would sing along with the Rock Music my dad would blast throughout the house. It was fun. I remember very clearly though when I had the epiphany that what I was singing actually meant something. I was probably around 11 when I finally comprehended what I was singing about. To this day, I am surprised about some of the lyrics I was singing as a child. J

4. Turkey and Ham are traditional Christmas meals for many Americans
"So what do you eat on Christmas, Jess?" you may ask. On Christmas Eve I go to Omi and Papa's house. Omi is from Germany so we eat German food: bratwurst, sausage, red cabbage, potato salad, salad, bread and cookies. Yummy. Christmas day is spent with my Italian family: Italian wedding soup, gnocchis, meatballs, salad, green beans, mashed potatoes, beef tenderloin, and lots of pie and cookies. Mmmmmm. I think I was in college when I started to realize that this was not normal for most families.

5. "Every kiss begins with Kay"
As a young teenager I was very opinionated about things like relationships, girly stuff, practicality, romance, God, etc. Every time I heard the commercial slogan for Kay Jewelers, I would get extremely mad. Why in the world would people think that every kiss had to begin with Kay Jewelry? I am sad to say that I was in college before I realized the double meaning of the slogan.

6. Aladdin and Steve from Full House are both Scott Weinger
I am fairly decent with voices. Before caller ID, I was great at knowing who was calling just by the voice. I can generally tell who is in the other room if they are talking. I usually recognize someone's voice before I recognize their face. As a kid, my favorite Disney movie was Aladdin. Full House was another show I watched. I was probably 16 or 17 before I realized Aladdin and Steve had the same voice. It changed the paradigm of my movie watching.

7. Black men find me attractive.
I was not great at understanding flirting while I was in Junior High and High School. Actually, I am still not good at it but I am improving. (Thanks to my husband J). Usually surrounded by white people, naturally I had crushes on white men. Most seemed not to be very interested in me. I did have a few white boyfriends in college. I think I was a junior in college when I began to notice that black men noticed me. I started sharing this with my friends. Ellie and Melissa both teased me about it and said that one day I would marry a black man. (Yes they were right). Just yesterday I was at the grocery store and the man bagging my groceries complimented me on my jacket to start up a conversation. A couple weeks ago I was in the leasing office at my apartment complex and a man complimented me on my glasses to engage with me. I could go on and on about the times where guys started conversations with me. The thing they have in common is that they are either old or they are black, sometimes both. Looking back, I actually would understand the art of flirting had I known this sooner.

Pleading with God about Winter

God,

I have always loved the snow; you are very much aware of that. It's beautiful. It reminds me of redemption and healing. My sins are washed away and they are white as snow. Forgiveness and your grace. I also enjoy winter fun like ice skating, sledding, skiing, snowball fights, making snowmen and more. It's nice to sit by a fireplace reading a book with some mint tea looking out the window from time to time at this glorious creation of yours. Thank you for sharing this delight with me.

There are many other things that come with the snow though. Papa, car accidents, depression, lack of pay checks because couldn't get into work, higher bills because of the heater running constantly, parents don't have anywhere to drop off their kids because school is cancelled for the 90th time this winter, people fall on ice, sickness spreads dramatically indoors and more. On behalf of your children, Papa please make winter end. Melt the snow. Bring the sunshine. Raise the temperature. Allow the flowers to bloom. Allow us to be able to go outside and end the depressive states many of us are in. Papa, I love you and I am so grateful for so many things. We are over winter. Please make it stop.

Sincerely,
Your Daughter,
Jessica

Grace

Grace

Darkness closing in

Tension building higher and higher

Hope drifting away

The air frigid

Knowledge of occurrence

Pain inflicted

Guilt plagues

Heart racing

Words lacking

Speak

Time stands still

Waiting for response

Emotions heavy

See a glimpse of smile

Warmth arising

Tension slowly diminishes

Brightness enters in

Undeserved beautiful words,

"I forgive you."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question we hear over and over and over again starting at the early ages of life. I am guilty of having asked this question to many. What does it really mean though? Is this question actually important in the scheme of life? What are we really telling people with this question? What you be…that's not even actually grammatically correct. Who you want to be and what you want to do are the correct forms of that sentence. So what are we actually asking? Are we asking who do you want to be when you grow up or what do you want to do when you grow up? Which is more important? As a whole, most are asking the later. So do you want to be a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a vet, a pilot, a construction worker, an architect, a writer, a musician, a dancer, etc? Yes it is a completely valid question. It is fun to learn about the interests of others and what they are dreaming about for their future possibilities. I have to argue, however, the first question is far more important.

Who do you want to be?

I want to be a wise, confident woman who has a beautiful faith in God, is connected deeply to the Holy Spirit, loves others, is a wonderful wife, a caring mother, has an adventurous spirit, obedient, is full of joy and peace, helps those around her, prays fervently, and is present in the day to day moments in life. In order to become this person I have to practice and prepare very differently than if I am focused on doing something specific.

Then why do we seem to focus all of our attention on what we will do? Most education is geared toward this. But is that really what our lives are all about? What we do?

I believe that God is far more interested in who we become instead of what we do. Out of who we become will direct the ways of what we will do. What we do is secondary to who we are. God focuses on the heart.

In the Christian world the big question is, "What is your calling?". What in the world does that actually mean?!? Is that really what God wants us to focus on? Yes, I believe that we need to be obedient to what God says when he speaks to us. I know that we need to do the things God is asking of us. But when I look at the meta-picture of the Bible I see God who is interested in who the people are becoming more than what they do. Take Moses for instance. We look at all the things he did…well what God did through him like freeing the Israelites from Pharaoh, parting the Red Sea, writing the ten commandments, etc. Look at who Moses was when he started off this story. He was a murderer who ran away from home. He questioned God. He couldn't speak well. He was insecure. He was not a strong leader by any means. Besides being a child who grew up in Pharaoh's palace, he was not really much. But who did he become? He became a forgiven, faithful, God-fearing, strong leader who was patient, kind, respected, loved, fierce, secure in who he was and utilized by God in so many great ways.

Shouldn't we be more focused on who we are becoming so then God may use us to do the things he wants us to do? The daily grind of becoming faithful, patient, kind, loving, good, gentle, joyous, peaceful, and self-controlled people is what we need to focus on. When we work on those things and become the person God created us to be we will automatically do the things we need to do. God will work through us and guide us toward those things. I don't think we should be focused on calling but instead on who God calls us to be.

Right now, I have no idea what is next for me. I don't know what occupation I will have or what I will do but I do know who I want to be. I know that God is calling me to be present. I know he wants me to be still and notice all of the people that are around me. I know he wants me to pray for people and talk to random people I am standing next to in line at the grocery store. I know he wants me to spend time with him. I know he wants to heal me and help me become more and more the person he created me to be. I am excited about this time. I want to spend this time working through that process of being rather than training for something I may or may not be doing for a short time. Who I become is far more important that what I do.

Who do you want to be?



I know that this is only tangential to what I wrote about today but check out this TedTalk. This 13 year old boy has an interesting and brilliant perspective on life.
http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/01/07/this-is-what-happens-when-a-kid-leaves-traditional-education/