You Can't Handle the Truth

August 20th, 2017

"You can't handle the truth" is a phrase that is perpetually on my mind today. Most people would say that they want others to be honest with them right? Like, you want people to be straightforward. You want people to share their thoughts and feelings. You want people to be up front and you don't want to deal with people who lie and back pedal.

I'm calling bullshit.

In my experience, when I'm honest and upfront, people often shy away. They don't know how to handle it. Also, in my experience, most people aren't honest enough with themselves and then aren't honest with others either. This is something that I cannot comprehend. If you expect honesty, why aren't you, yourself honest? That's only logical, right? I cannot wrap my brain around this phenomena.

I came to the realization today that I'm just not like most people in this way and that's why I struggle. I am honest all the time and it gets me into trouble. Now, why is that? Why should I be in trouble for being honest with myself and others? Okay, okay, there is a good balance. I can be honest with myself and others but there is definitely a time and place for some truth. And I have learned this lesson the hard way multiple times. But, still, why are people so scared?

And what are they scared of? Being vulnerable is a difficult thing to do but it's also the most beautiful experiences I have had with people. Vulnerability is a true sign of strength and not weakness. Why do we think it's the opposite? Why do people think a rough exterior is the way to be? Why do we constantly put ourselves in situations of playing games with people? Life is way too short for that shit!

I was talking with a good friend of mine today about this. I was like, "shit, now I'm gonna have to start learning to play the game." My friend said, "Why?" And I realized she was right. I don't want to have to learn to play the game. This is not a good or fun game to play. If you wanna play cards or pool I will play in a heartbeat. But the life game is dumb and I refuse to play it.

Refusing to be honest and vulnerable with yourself and others is a sign of immaturity and lack of self-awareness. And mostly it boils down to people being scared of themselves and others. I'm pretty sure living life the way I do is both stupid and amazing but like I said before life is too short. My favorite parts of life are watching people grow and being real with others. That's the life I want to choose even if it seems odd and a little stupid. I don't want to live scared.

But, can we please stop throwing the word honesty around flippantly? Most of the time people say, "I'm just trying to be honest" they aren't. It's a partial truth, maybe, and it's more about themselves than the other person. If you want real honesty then please use the word, but if you don't, can you stop pretending and realize you would rather be lied to and keep lying to yourself? It's really okay if you want to live your life that way, no judgment here. Just at least be honest about that part. It will make life a bit easier for everyone. If you can't handle the truth, just say so. It's really okay.