Ahead, there is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I guess it is not really a thing, but something so indescribable. The beauty is so radiant; it's nearly blinding. It draws me in. I find myself gravitating towards the greatness. How did I get here? I was sitting and now I am walking toward the awesome scene almost involuntarily but I know that I have a choice. The light seems to be calling my name and guiding me toward the greatest adventure of my life. The excitement and joy seems to be streaming out of every pore of my body. I am overwhelmed with an incredible warmth from within. It feels like...love, but not what the world describes as love. This is a greater and more pronounced. I have never felt more loved or more whole or more content. I am still. I am me. My eyes are fixed on what lies ahead. Nothing can stop me.
Around, I start to become aware. The ugliness that seems to surround me. Above is grey, dark, and empty. To the left is dismay, destruction, and death. Look out! To the right there is a huge wave coming to take me out. Wait, where am I? Down, am I really walking on water? Right, that wave is going to come and consume me! Now I am falling down, down, down, deeper and deeper. I can't breathe. Overwhelmed. Struggling. Trying to get myself up out of this mess. Why didn't I see this before? What was I thinking trying to walk on water? What was I doing?
Fading, I remember faintly. That grand light. I see a glimpse of it now. What's that? A hand. Air starts to fill my longs as the water rushes past me. I am out of the water. I can breathe again. This man standing in front of me reminds me of the beauty I saw before. Why is he here...no wait, I do not even have to ask that question because I just know. He is here to save me. He pulled me out of the water. I am safe again. The sensation of love quickly returns to my entire being.
Behind, I see. This seems all too familiar. This is not the first time this has happened. Flashes of the same scene over and over again appear. The man looks at me with penetrating eyes. I feel naked. He can see right through me. Guilt starts to creep in as I remember how many times this man has rescued me from the overwhelming, consuming waves. Doesn't he get tired of pulling me out of the mess I created for myself? I am the one who got distracted. I am the one who removed my focus and my gaze from the beautiful greatness ahead.
Stop. The man does not say a word and yet I know he means for me to be still and just gaze into his eyes. The guilt flees from my soul. I am forgiven. I am loved through and through. He sets my feet back into place, ready to continue on the journey ahead. No more worry. No more consumption. No more distractions. The greatness and beauty are ahead. I must find others to come along with me. I must show them the tremendous work that is ahead. Look! Do you see? We must go together.
Onward, our eyes fixed ahead.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Growing Pains
In my childhood, I remember nights where my sister would be in agony because her legs hurt intensely. I did not experience this myself, but some children experience incredible growing pains during their growth spurts. Lately, I have been going through a growth spurt. Now, I haven't grown an inch since I was like 14 (aka for like ten years), however, I have been growing spiritually.
God has been taking me deeper and calling me more toward himself to renew my mind, my emotions, my spirit, and even my physical self. I have been reading this book called, When People are Big and God is Small (I mentioned this in my last post). God is revealing to me how I have let people control me by believing I need their love, respect, and approval to function in everyday life. My friend needs to compliment me on this new shirt I bought, or I won't wear it again. That stranger needs to hold the door open for me or I am not worth anything. My boyfriend needs to text me back right now or he is ignoring me and doesn't love me. Etc... LIES!!!! Scripture tells us that I only need God's love and approval. Proverbs 29:25 (NIV) says, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Or as the NLT puts it, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety."
I have begun the long process of allowing God to transform my heart and renew my mind so that I can be grounded in his truths instead of mine or the world's. I know that this is going to be a life-long journey but currently I have been going through a growth spurt. All of this is so new and exciting. His truths are taking root and I am being set free from things I have allowed myself to be trapped by my entire life. But as I mentioned earlier, huge growth spurts come with growing pains. Along with this freedom has come different areas of entrapment. Satan is upset about this growth spurt and knows that it is detrimental to him so he is coming in the midst of it all to kill, steal and destroy. I have felt trapped by emotions. My joy seems to have disappeared. I have huge cycles almost on a daily basis of being depressed and not wanting to do anything. I want to burst into tears for no apparent reason. It is much deeper and harder than to just say I will overcome. I seek God and beg him to help me because I don't know how to help myself or even know how to come through these bouts of negativity.
John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
Do you see what God is trying to tell us? First of all, we should be expecting that Satan is going to come to steal our peace, kill our joy, and to destroy us. That's a given when we are living in Christ. But second and most important, God sent his son so that we can LIVE life to the FULL!!! Yes, I am hurting. Yes this pain is excruciating at times. But when I look at the bigger picture, I really am going through a growth spurt. I am learning, growing, and being transformed. The pain that comes with that is just a growing pain. In my kid sister's perspective, the physical pain she had growing up was the worst pain she had ever felt but now she doesn't have to endure that pain anymore because she is fully grown. The pain that I am enduring right now through this growth spurt, is temporary. When I remember that, it doesn't seem so bad and I have hope and can again claim the truths that set me free. The pain comes and blinds me from the bigger picture and the truth but really I will be able to live life fully by continuing to grow and persevere through this storm.
So where are you in this midst of this story? Are you afraid to even begin to grow because you know the growing pains that will come with it? I promise you it is worth it. Are you growing and God is calling you deeper and you're not sure if you want to? I promise you it is worth it. Are you in the midst of growing pains along with me? I know we can make it and it will be worth it. Are you just past a growth spurt? Wasn't it worth it? Guard your heart and prepare for the next one. God is here in our midst and he is raising us up, transforming us so that we will help transform the world. Are you willing to endure the growing pains so you can live life to the fullest? I know I am.
God has been taking me deeper and calling me more toward himself to renew my mind, my emotions, my spirit, and even my physical self. I have been reading this book called, When People are Big and God is Small (I mentioned this in my last post). God is revealing to me how I have let people control me by believing I need their love, respect, and approval to function in everyday life. My friend needs to compliment me on this new shirt I bought, or I won't wear it again. That stranger needs to hold the door open for me or I am not worth anything. My boyfriend needs to text me back right now or he is ignoring me and doesn't love me. Etc... LIES!!!! Scripture tells us that I only need God's love and approval. Proverbs 29:25 (NIV) says, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Or as the NLT puts it, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety."
I have begun the long process of allowing God to transform my heart and renew my mind so that I can be grounded in his truths instead of mine or the world's. I know that this is going to be a life-long journey but currently I have been going through a growth spurt. All of this is so new and exciting. His truths are taking root and I am being set free from things I have allowed myself to be trapped by my entire life. But as I mentioned earlier, huge growth spurts come with growing pains. Along with this freedom has come different areas of entrapment. Satan is upset about this growth spurt and knows that it is detrimental to him so he is coming in the midst of it all to kill, steal and destroy. I have felt trapped by emotions. My joy seems to have disappeared. I have huge cycles almost on a daily basis of being depressed and not wanting to do anything. I want to burst into tears for no apparent reason. It is much deeper and harder than to just say I will overcome. I seek God and beg him to help me because I don't know how to help myself or even know how to come through these bouts of negativity.
John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
Do you see what God is trying to tell us? First of all, we should be expecting that Satan is going to come to steal our peace, kill our joy, and to destroy us. That's a given when we are living in Christ. But second and most important, God sent his son so that we can LIVE life to the FULL!!! Yes, I am hurting. Yes this pain is excruciating at times. But when I look at the bigger picture, I really am going through a growth spurt. I am learning, growing, and being transformed. The pain that comes with that is just a growing pain. In my kid sister's perspective, the physical pain she had growing up was the worst pain she had ever felt but now she doesn't have to endure that pain anymore because she is fully grown. The pain that I am enduring right now through this growth spurt, is temporary. When I remember that, it doesn't seem so bad and I have hope and can again claim the truths that set me free. The pain comes and blinds me from the bigger picture and the truth but really I will be able to live life fully by continuing to grow and persevere through this storm.
So where are you in this midst of this story? Are you afraid to even begin to grow because you know the growing pains that will come with it? I promise you it is worth it. Are you growing and God is calling you deeper and you're not sure if you want to? I promise you it is worth it. Are you in the midst of growing pains along with me? I know we can make it and it will be worth it. Are you just past a growth spurt? Wasn't it worth it? Guard your heart and prepare for the next one. God is here in our midst and he is raising us up, transforming us so that we will help transform the world. Are you willing to endure the growing pains so you can live life to the fullest? I know I am.
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