Expansion

a space inside expands
tingles start in my core
and extend to my extremities
my chest augments
lub dub....lub dub...lub dub
the sound almost audible
of my heart beating on
openness in the throat
tempting the vocal chords
to sing a chorus of alleluia
lightening of the head
lifting up as feathers in the wind
my whole body afloat
as if gravity couldn't touch me
this is how it feels to be one
with the universe
this is how it feels when
I love myself

Divorce

I was standing there
frozen
not really all that surprised
the arguing and dissension
had been happening for months
the waves of emotion
threatened to take over
but the void of numbness
overruled
Going back in time
I can hear the faint screams
"How can you not be crying?"
my sister begged for some emotion
my twelve-year-old self knew to stay strong
I couldn't change what was happening
Bravery and strength were what we needed

Now thirty, looking back
I see that brave little girl
she did what she knew to be best
and I love her for that
but something died inside her
the day her family fell apart

Vacuity

still
gravity bringing presence to within
deafeningly quiet
the unquenched desire unfulfilled
tears streaming
so many...will I drown?
Will I ever hear those cries
of fear and joy
will I see the growth
feel the smooth and the bruised
the vacant void that broods inside
my hand feels nothing against my stomach
the flood of emotions creep up
nagging at me to notice
the emptiness that comes
from being childless

Rush

Catching your gaze
as you quickly look away
brings a tingling feeling
to my abdomen.
Knowing I'm wanted
makes my heart swell.
Tiptoeing through conversations
like the most beautiful dance,
a work of art...flirting.
The most magical moment
is where you stop talking
completely distracted
unable to remember
what you were saying
simply because I stood up,
and you could barely breathe.