What is Grace?

"What is grace? I know until you ask me; when you ask me, I do not know."
~ Saint Augustine

Dictionary.com gives several definitions:

noun

1.     elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action:

We watched her skate with effortless grace across the ice.

Synonyms: attractiveness, charm, gracefulness, comeliness, ease, lissomeness, fluidity.

Antonyms: stiffness, ugliness, awkwardness, clumsiness; klutziness.

2.     a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment:

He lacked the manly graces.

3.     favor or goodwill.

Synonyms: kindness, kindliness, love, benignity; condescension.

4.     a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior:

It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.

Synonyms: forgiveness, charity, mercifulness.

Antonyms: animosity, enmity, disfavor.

5.     mercy; clemency; pardon:

He was saved by an act of grace from the governor.

Synonyms: lenity, leniency, reprieve.

Antonyms: harshness.

6.     favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.

7.

 an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied:

The life insurance premium is due today, but we have 31 days' grace before the policy lapses.

Compare grace period.

verb (used with object), graced, gracing.

14.    to lend or add grace to; adorn:

Many fine paintings graced the rooms of the house. Synonyms: embellish, beautify, deck, decorate, ornament; enhance, honor.

Antonyms: disfigure, desecrate, demean.

15.    to favor or honor: to grace an occasion with one's presence.                   Synonyms: glorify, elevate, exalt.

Antonyms: disrespect, dishonor.

But I don't think most of these definitions do the word justice. (Though a combination of some of them start to get to the heart of how I think of grace #3, 4, & 5)  Grace has such a deep meaning to me. I realize that mostly this word is embedded in Christian culture. The word grace is often attributed to God. Some would define grace as "God giving us what we don't deserve". Now there's a lot of theology surrounding that and that's not really the reason I'm posting about grace but it does give me more of a starting point to talk about grace between humans. 

Thinking about extending grace to those around us is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Giving someone something they don't deserve, in the positive sense. Sometimes people don't "deserve" a second chance or maybe they "deserve" to be punished or treated a certain way based on their actions. Extending grace means giving them a pass, forgiving them for the action against you and extending love and understanding. It means to reach out and extend a bridge to meet the person where they stand.

Now I don't think that grace means letting people get away with everything and being a doormat. Grace is not allowing someone to repeatedly hurt you with no consequence. Grace is not about unhealthy relationships. I think that extending grace to a person is trying to understand from their perspective, accepting them as a human who makes mistakes and granting them love just as you would like to receive the same. 

In the moments where I have received grace...it's nearly indescribable. The amount of love and understanding I have felt in those moments is incredible. Knowing that I fucked up and another person is willing to meet me in my humanity and love me anyways...wow!!! It's a state of amazing compassion. To be loved through grace is one of the most astounding ways I think another can be loved.

Extending and receiving grace is one of the most beautiful parts of humanity. Sometimes it's in small ways and sometimes it's in really big ways. I would love to hear stories from those of you who have received and extended grace.