Learning to Love Myself Part VII
Becoming my own Best Friend
I expect a lot from myself. In turn, I expect a lot out of others, less so than from myself but still a lot. Something I have come to realize though is that I can't ask others to love me if I don't know how to love myself. How can someone be my friend if even I don't like myself?
I have been practicing being compassionate with myself. I am changing how I talk to myself so that it is more positive and less degrading. I am learning to treat myself how I would treat my closest friends. It's not an easy thing. I am so harsh on myself because I'm always striving to be better. But what good is that if I'm not enjoying life along the way?
I have started practicing other things as well. I'm taking myself out. I have on occasion taken myself to the movies but I also took myself to a musical at Playhouse Square last week and will do so again next week. It's difficult for me to spend money on myself but I am learning to budget it in because it is important to treat myself with kindness.
I sing in the car and jam out to songs that I love even though I know others would look down on me for my song choices. Does it really matter if I love it and am having fun?
I am starting to give myself advice in a way that I would when talking to a dear friend. This allows me to see things more clearly and honestly. Plus talking to myself out loud has been a useful practice since I am an external processor. Trying to internally process is usually a nightmare and I tend to spiral.
Learning to love myself and befriend myself is an interesting journey. I'm starting to see why I've had difficulties with friendships in the past. No wonder some people struggled with this or that from my character...even I wouldn't like that in a friendship. But it also has taught me how amazing I am. I am both humbled and amazed by myself. It's strange. It's difficult. It's hard work but definitely worth doing.
No one can fulfill all the needs I have. Though I am still adamant that it takes a community to live a good, healthy and loving life, I have also learned that loving myself is part of that community and an important one. I can't really be happy with my life if I'm not even willing to be friends with myself.
This journey will continue and I hope to learn more and grow. But if nothing else, I'm learning that I can be friends with myself and that's a beautiful and amazing thing.
